@UnFitz: I was inept with girls in high school. Once I tried to unhook a bra strap and accidentally made a macramé plant hanger.
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@Momtoteens: If gyms paid pretty girls to just sit and clap in the weight section, I bet they could charge anything they want for a membership.
@juliussharpe: That last phone call with my wife was so boring, I feel like I owe the NSA an apology.
@krakkenlackin: Critics are raving about Mud. "It's like dirt but wet" says one. "Oh god it's in my eyes" says another
@NoogsCorner: Me: We spend a lot of time together. Her: Turn left. Me: Just think we should take this to the next level. Her: Arriving at destination.