@gabemakesmusic: I was kicked out of karate class today for describing everything the instructor did as "senseitational"
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@Shanehasabeard: Before cell phones and texting, I used to get pulled over a lot for playing solitaire with a physical deck of cards while I was driving
@ranndrew: Good Cop: We want to help you. Just tell us who was with you on the night of August the 15th. Bae Cop: My parents aren't home. Come over.
@TrueTorontoGirl: Ironically I’m watching an exercise infomercial because I’m too lazy to get the remote.