@NicestHippo: I was on my way to commit a heinous act of religiously motivated violence but then I saw a Coexist bumper sticker
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@mrdaveturner: There's a woman reading the bible on the tube. Fighting the urge to lean over to her and say "He dies at the end".
@heykarlin: Gotta be tough for the guy somewhere who has to say "yeah, she left me for Charles Manson."
@novixv: [Plane starts to go down] *Frantically shoves an entire bag of Life Savers Gummies™ into my mouth*