@pixelatedboat: I was the fastest gun in the West, I'd shoot you with a ham before you could even ask "What is that, some sort of ham cannon?"
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@dafloydsta: WIFE: You promised not to spend the lottery winnings on something stupid ME: *climbing off my new elephant* He has a name, Karen
@_sunshine25_: EATS clean for a week, loses 2 pounds. DRIVES by a donut shop, gains 5. This is some bullshit.