@shopkins776: I was told you have to wait an hour after you finish eating to swim. I didn't know there was such a thing as an hour after you finish eating
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@pizzajaynow: When a Jehovah Witness dies, Heaven turns off all the lights and pretends no one is home.
@juneohara65: "The only difference between heterosexual and homosexual sex is which hole you stick it in." ~my mother after a few drinks
@PinkCamoTO: *interview for new roommate* Ninja: I know it's a small place, but you won't even know I'm here.