@shopkins776: I was told you have to wait an hour after you finish eating to swim. I didn't know there was such a thing as an hour after you finish eating
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@jeffreyvanclea1: I just want 5 minutes alone with the person who thought it was a good idea to put little plastic stickers on every piece of fruit
@LocoBurritoMan: Today I got chased by a thief trying to steal my wallet.. I managed to get away, but he definitely gave me a good run for my money!
@KalvinMacleod: HER: it’s over between us ME: is it because of all my embroidery puns? HER: I thought you would stop ME: sew it seamed