@Bob_Janke: I was wearing a jean jacket yesterday and a little kid asked me why I made a jacket out of pants and I had no good answer for him
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@EricBedner: "Bye, losers." *puts on motorcycle helmet and sunglasses* *rides unicycle into an elevator* "Can you push the button for the lobby please."
@bearloverbobby: I went to AT&T and asked for a sim card. They told me I had to call them to activate it. See the problem...
@UnicornSyrup: Kanye West named his kid North. Drake Bell says he'll name his first kid Taco. I think Jessica Biel should name her kid Batmo.
@thatcarlygirl: Hey, cooking directions on the sides of packages: Nobody knows the wattage of their microwave.