@Home_Halfway: "I wasn't born yesterday" - Lying newborn baby
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@shegotagronk: My Grandma would be pissed if she found out how many times she's died so I could get out of having to go somewhere.
@PaperWash: Mario Kart: 1) stays in first place for 3 laps 2) gets passed by 5 people at last second 3) slams controller 4) quits job 5) divorces wife
@mrjohndarby: Interviewer: What skills do you have? Me: Mind control Interviewer: EXCELLENT YOUVE GOT THE JOB