@Home_Halfway: "I wasn't born yesterday" - Lying newborn baby
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@BobTheSuit: Job interview with the NSA Applicant: Would you like references? NSA: We have everything we need. App: You guys! NSA: I know, right!
@JediGigi: Robber: Give me your valuables Me: *hands him piece of paper* Robber: What's this? Me: My Netflix password.
@pleatedjeans: worst place to be stung by bees is the club bc it just looks like you're doing cool dance moves & sure u win the dance off but at what cost