@ImLeslieChow: "I wasn't that drunk!" "Dude, you congratulated a potato for getting a part in Toy Story."
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@kuuuuuu: *When I see someone else jaywalk* "What an idiot." *When I jaywalk* "I am a trained professional. Do not attempt this yourself."
@Brianhopecomedy: "Doctor, is the baby healthy?" "Yes Kanye, and just so you know I was the first one to hold her." "Huh?" *Ray-J pulls off surgical mask
@bazecraze: According to hotel AC, the difference between 72 degrees and 73 degrees is 40 degrees.