@Reverend_Scott: I watched someone give a Starbucks Unicorn Frappuccino to a homeless woman. She took one sip and threw it in the trash.
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@KeetPotato: [rookie undercover] *walks up to dealer* "yo you a cop" um no "hmm ok what you want" EIGHT COCAINES PLEASE *gives thumbs up to chief in car*
@KeetPotato: hey look! *picks up a tiny ghost costume off pavement* how cool is thi ew why is it wet? "dude, that's a condom"
@behindyourback: The worst is that a 27 y/o who wanted to marry Charles Manson & charge ppl to see his corpse had more of a future financial plan than we do.
@preawsaurus: it's always the wrong ex who gets drunk and messages you a million times about how much he loves you.