@ericsshadow: I wear the same 2 Halloween costumes every year. I start off as a "ghost" and end up as a "drunk ghost that needs a ride home."
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@KraftDinerr: "OPEN UP, THIS IS THE POLICE!" haha, no way losers. I've got things to do. *cop whispering* "what do we do? this guy is owning us hard!"
@Jen_says_nah: *puts message in a bottle *stares longingly out at sea and throws it in *gets tazed and arrested for littering
@christrew: Too many men hate it when I put both of my hands on their shoulder and ask if everything is alright take this guy at the urinal for example