@Home_Halfway: I went to a vegan restaurant once. Wait, no, that was just a florist.
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@WowYoureFunny: If the doorbell rings, its normal to drop, shimmy across the floor, press your body to the wall & not breath till the person is gone, right?
@Brampersandon_: [meeting a girl at the bar] ME (nervously cracking every knuckle): hi I'm brandon GIRL: please let go of my hands
@Thedudish: The recipe said "Set the oven to 180 degrees," so I did, but now I can't open it because the door faces the wall.