@Home_Halfway: I went to a vegan restaurant once. Wait, no, that was just a florist.
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@XplodingUnicorn: My 3-year-old put a blanket over her head and ran around like it was an invisibility cloak, but not for long. It made walls invisible, too.
@Social_Mime: I'd give my wife my coat if she's cold but I'll take it back if I become cold and maybe she'll be prepared next time we go out.
@heytherecore: [Dinner with GF's parents] Thank you for having me over, can I use the bathroom? "MAY I use the bathroom" *slams fists down* I ASKED FIRST
@ashleyaustrew: Me: I do f-ing everything around here! I'm sick of it! Family: *tries to help* Me: That's not...what are you...no...wrong...LET ME DO IT