@MrMichaelRose: I went to Lowe's to buy a human-sized microwave & the guy loudly said they don't exist & then took me to a back room & they had lots of them
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@Supafunkadunka: Just saw a coyote next to the highway. I hope this tunnel ahead isn't just painted on.
@sageboggs: Just saw The Martian. If Matt Damon was alone on Mars, who was filming him that whole time? Clearly fake
@DamienFahey: I was really moved by The Great Gatsby. Specifically, to the theater showing Iron Man 3.
@samalmightysam: The difference between pizza and love is that when the pizza ends it doesn't send you subtweets.