@Connan22: I will force my way into an inside joke and kill the fun before I let two people laugh about something I don't get.
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@adamhess1: I just bumped into my old headmistress who said how weird it is to see me all grown up now. Surely it would be weirder if I was still 9.
@thisislizz: The D word that everyone's been feeling at work is depression. I guessed the wrong word, apparently. Aaaaand there's HR calling me. Brb.
@AlexRogaski: [Me as 911 Operator] *phone rings* I wait for it to stop ringing and text back "what's up"
@GoodNaps: *in court* Your honor,this case must be thrown out "On what grounds?" *points to defendants nametag: ABookByItsCover* *Judges head explodes*