@JasonLastname: I will give Canada this. Their geese are hard to keep in a headlock.
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@Gooooats: I keep trying to turn my hat around backwards so I can get down to business, but it's a sombrero and I'm making zero progress.
@KeetPotato: doc: "your dad's been in a coma for 9 days, we're running out of ideas" me: "let me try" [goes to adjust thermostat] dad: [opens one eye]
@abbycohenwl: Me: What's your dad do? Kid: My dad? He's an actor Me: Why? Couldn't you get a real dad?
@EndhooS: "What would be your main strength?" Well, I can communicate with animals... "Wow, impressive. Any weaknesses?" They can't understand me.