@krustythe_klown: I will put you in your place. -me to everything because OCD
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@envydatropic: I wear lipstick when I go into Walmart so people know I'm not approachable or one of their kind
@iRowlf: When my son loses his 1st tooth, Im putting $1 under his pillow and a note that says "I'll be back with a hammer for the rest. -Tooth Fairy"
@shutupmikeginn: Things were going well with my date, until she noticed my Roomba was a Frisbee glued to a bunch of rats