@Dawn_M_: I will take your secret to the grave. Unless I'm drunk and revealing it will make me popular.
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@IbecameMyDad: If someone brought me coffee right now I would follow them around like an imprinted baby bird forever.
@ElKnuckelhombre: Wife: I left the kids with you for a half hour & they dumped 3 pounds of sugar in the dryer trying to make cotton candy. Me: Did it work?
@SCbchbum: Did you know if you send a fancy iPhone emoticon to a non-iPhone user, it just shows up as a middle finger?