@Schmoodles: I will totally judge you based on your choice of breakfast cereal, you unfrosted weirdo.
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@lizetagge: The closest I've been to murder is holding my choco-chip cookie under the milk until the bubbles stop...
@Shock_Monster: After seeing some of the names on kids these days, you wonder if their parents were going all in for the Triple Word Score.
@jordan_stratton: ENTRY LEVEL JOB OPENING: Hiring recent college grads REQUIREMENTS: 5 years of experience, 6 Olympic gold medals, and superpowers.
@OutOfLeftField_: Women's voices naturally get higher as they get excited so if you're in bed and she still sounds like Morgan Freeman, try harder.