@ChemBtwnUs: I win all of my breakups by not getting fat.
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@AGreaterMonster: My mom sent me a two paragraph email to inform me that she had called customer service and received $17 off her flight to see me.
@mydmac: *uneasily answers phone 'Guess who?' David? 'No' John? 'No' Mike? 'No' Steve? 'No, I made you very happy the other night' Haagen Daz? 'NO' Pizza Hut?
@ParaJanitor: I love when bill collectors ask if you can borrow the money...uh I did that before and I think we both know how that turned out.