@meganamram: I wish all tests were things you peed on
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@david8hughes: Son: what will happen when I die? Me [lowers newspaper]: there'll be a lot of left over sandwiches & then we'll turn your room into a gym
@hgracestewart: I try to live each day like it's my last, which is why I rarely have clean socks. Who wants to wash socks on the last day of their life?
@Ygrene: [being murdered] Me: hey stop for a sec Murderer: what Me: just want to say you're really (finger quotes)…killing it [murdering intensifies]