@trashtastica: I wish I could feed people I don't like to my cat.
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@OutOfLeftField_: If a tree falls on your Ex in the woods, and no one hears it, still get rid of the chainsaw just in case.
@skylerhanrath: If you want a medical degree, they're literally hanging on doctor's walls. Grab one.
@sarcasm_inc: Men used to slay dragons, and here I am shuffling around like a penguin with my pants around my ankles looking for extra toilet paper.
@gregmania: accidentally summoned a demon at IKEA by trying to pronounce the names of the furniture