@Rollinintheseat: I wish I could replace my central nervous system with a central confidence system.
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@matt___nelson: [angrily taking off banana suit] "Why didn't you tell me we were going to a funeral"
@iGreenMonk: Just waved back at someone at the gym who was waving at the person behind me and now I'm looking for a new gym.
@amazymay72x: Husband: I'll unload the dishwasher for you, honey. Me: No rush. 3 days later.......regrets saying no rush.
@JKNenagh: 7: Dad what does this word mean Me: Bring me a dictionary *Smack up side the head Me: Now go google that shit