@caroljimenezz: i wish i had a cute laugh but instead i sound like a dying seal
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@Shock_Monster: If I were God, I'd totally be cool with you using my name in vain. Feel free to say, "Oh John" next time you're cumming ladies.
@EmoPhilips: 23rd Century Scientist: We're sending you to 1889 to kill baby Hitler. Four words: Stick. To. The. Mission. Henry Ford: Yes, sir.
@DestineyLynn: As I was going through my wallet for a second I thought I got robbed... And then I remembered I got gas.
@djdarrellripley: Me: Go to school! 9yr Old: It's Sunday. Me: Go to church! 9yr Old: I'm Jewish. Me: Convert!