@jackiembouvier: I wish I had remembered this was a rectal thermometer before I'd put it in my mouth for 3 minutes.
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@MarlonBrandNO: Mom: Take out the trash *I take the trash on a lovely date* Mom: Not what I meant *I assassinate the trash in an ally* Mom: Still wrong
@Book_Krazy: Him: I think you pick fights with me to get out of doing things together Me: That's not true H: Wanna go hiking M: I don't like your tone
@LeBearGirdle: *1st dinner date* Me: waiter, can I get the bill- Her: I love sophisticated guys Me: I mean *coughs* waiter can I get the... william?
@BuckyIsotope: Did you know we only use 10% of our brains? "Actually that's a myth-" This part is useless *stabs fork in head* See? Now florble arble guh