@okaypup: I wish I was from Finland so when people asked if I was Finnish I could say "no, in fact, I'm just getting started"
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@PetrickSara: "You saw nothing." -me, to the neighbor kids about the toy I just shoved in the trash
@Jc1Johnny: If a woman wants to date me, she has to meet my strict criteria 1. Hair 2. At least one eye 3. A pulse 4. Not that bothered about 1
@CVTBaby: If a tree falls in the woods and there is no one to hear it, he still tries to play it off like he meant it so the other trees don't laugh.
@BillDixonish: If Billy Joel rewrote We Didn't Start The Fire based on the past 2 weeks, it would be 45 minutes long.