@idiosity: I wish I was poplar. No, that's not a typo. I wish I was a tree.
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@Sassafrantz: When people stay in a horrific relationship instead of breaking up, I assume they killed someone together.
@kathybotteas: Back in the day my parents wanted me to marry only one of my own. Now they're like "That orangutan looks nice. That elephant looks smart."
@Brianhopecomedy: 100,000 Americans signed a petition to have Justin Bieber deported back to Canada. 8 million Canadians signed a petition to prevent this.