@Beerhaze: I wish it were okay for a guy to carry a purse because there is only so much banana bread that I can fit in my wallet.
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@Reverend_Scott: Elmo: Oscar, why are you a grouch? Oscar: Growing up, my parents were- *stabs Elmo with broken beer bottle* CUZ I LIVE IN A TRASHCAN.
@causticbob: Breaking News. Apple is to buy Ireland to solve the debt problem. It will be rebranded iLand
@MeetingBoy: I've counted 8 people so far whose New Years resolutions include "loose weight". Can I add spelling to your list too?