@3sunzzz: I wish Jehovah Witnesses were Jojoba Witnesses and they only stopped by to watch you put on their complimentary hand cream.
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@hazelmotes1: Giving your kid a recorder and telling him to go home and practice is how teachers get revenge on society for paying them so poorly.
@MensHumor: You can tell by a woman's feet how she feels about you. If they are behind her ears, she likes you.
@FeelingEuphoric: ME (teaching driver’s ed): quick, what did that sign we just passed say? STUDENT: um ME: this is important STUDENT: *reluctantly* McDonald’s, one mile, exit 7A? ME: good. stay in the right lane and ready your blinker