@KentWGraham: I wish my wife was one of those government agents who aren’t allowed to talk about what they did at work all day.
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@weinerdog4life: I'm just like the ghostbusters, except I chase squirrels around my neighborhood with a vacuum cleaner
@KyleMcDowell86: [old couple feeding ducks in the park] "Nothing could ruin this Edna" *I scare all the ducks away, punch the old man and steal their bread
@redhotirish75: My neighbors headboard kept me up last night so I yelled," the guy last night made her scream louder." Then it got quiet..