@SaraMansford: I wish scientists could make us as indestructible as cartoons. I've got a list of people I'd like to drop an anvil on.
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@rockymomax: EGYPTIAN KING: we shall build religious monuments. they will baffle future science. SUBJECT: what shall we worship? EGYPTIAN KING: cats
@3sunzzz: Friend: Wow, you've been happily married for 25 years?! What is your secret? Me: He travels, A LOT.
@slennonhugs: I'm a simple man *bites a pinecone* I enjoy simple things *tosses a gun into a lake* that's why I decided to let these bees live in my skull
@jonnysun: *wakes up before alarm goes off* please be 5am please be 5am *checks time* 2:34pm, februrary 25, 2054. NOOOOOOOOO