@SaraMansford: I wish scientists could make us as indestructible as cartoons. I've got a list of people I'd like to drop an anvil on.
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@flashember: [job interview] "I'll never hire you" ME: [swordfighting a field mouse] Is it cuz I'm swordf- NO IT'S BECAUSE YOU'RE LOSING TO A FIELD MOUSE
@darinlovesbacon: Some woman at my office just said Star Trek when we were all talking about Star Wars and now our IT guy is refusing to fix her computer.
@Fred_Delicious: [On date] Her - "so your profile said you like classical music? I love Mozart & Bach, how about you?" Me - "Jurassic Park theme"