@primawesome: I wish there was a way to keep in touch with dogs I meet outside of grocery stores.
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@Cheeseboy22: Remember, when you're driving in the snow, it's important to speed up and go as fast as you can so you don't get stuck.
@leifromloihi: [pulls away from kissing] do you ever pretend nfl players with dreadlocks swinging around under their helmets are predators
@TheReal_AndyMac: When a woman says, "We need to talk", it's no good. Never has a woman said, "We need to talk" and followed it up with "about pillow forts".
@QwertyJones3: If my company really wanted us to move during a fire drill, they'd lose the alarm and just announce that there's free food by the stairs.