@primawesome: I wish there was a way to keep in touch with dogs I meet outside of grocery stores.
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@justabloodygame: [Scooby & the gang catch a regular guy] "Let's see who this ghost really is!" No! Wait, I'm not- [rip off face] *gasps* "OLD MAN SKELETON?"
@Midgetspar: Stole my neighbors family portrait & got it tattooed on my back. Now I'm standing in their living room facing the wall 2 see if they notice.
@rodney_at_large: If the final comments of your speech last 45 minutes, please don't preface them with "and lastly".