@UNTRESOR: I wish there was some sort of idiom to describe how easily I just took that lollipop from that infant.
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@stacieooooo: You'd think a baby would make the perfect paperweight, but this one keeps rolling off my desk.
@WineMummy: The scene from The Exorcist where she's tied to the bed cursing like a sailor, but it's me when getting a Brazilian.
@Staggfilms: Me: You can't fire me, I quit! Boss: You can't quit, I fired you! Me: You can't quit me, I'm fire! Boss:... *our eyes lock and we kiss*
@SortaBad: Why are you breaking up with me? "You treat your dog like a baby. It's weird" Shh *puts hands over dog's ears* he's 26 months he understands