@WildeThingy: I wish young people would stop idealising future dystopias and start enjoying the one they're in.
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@OilCan314: I ate an entire box of delicious Triscuit crackers, and 8 hours later gave birth to a wicker chair.
@TheAlexP: Some people are like 5yr olds, they shake heads in agreement, but you KNOW by the look in their eyes, they have no clue what you just said.
@keeperoftheday: Girl: come over. Guy: I'm coming over. Girl: we should stop using walkie talkies in bed over.
@schumoo: Just tell me how many calories are in the entire package and save me the trouble of doing all the multiplication.