@wolfpupy: i won 100 dollars worth of chips at the casino, all i had to do was throw a brick through the vending machine glass
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@Cowtuk: The iPhone 7 is water-resistant, has stereo sound and a better camera but it doesn't have that one feature that I want: affordability.
@thevickster_sa: When your unicorn and dragon start battling each other, it's time to lay off the Ambien
@kjoy1019: If I don't clean my house soon, someone is going to bring in blindfolded ppl for a Frebreeze commercial.
@abbycohenwl: [spelling bee] JUDGE: Your word is “incorrect” KID: I haven’t spelled it yet JUDGE: No, that’s your word KID: T-H-A-T-’-S JUDGE: No- KID: N-