@wolfpupy: i won 100 dollars worth of chips at the casino, all i had to do was throw a brick through the vending machine glass
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@TheDairylandDon: Mah Dearest Emma, War on Christmas is hell. This morn, I saw 7 elves stabbed with 1 menorah. I fear this nog soaked yuletide may nevah end.
@sip_at_home_mom: You know that kid on the field who's too busy spinning in circles to notice the ball coming at him? He's mine, and he's not even on a team.