@JennyPentland: I wonder if caterpillars know they're gonna fly some day or they just start building a cocoon and are like 'why am I doing this'.
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@robdelaney: I #respectfully #trot when you let me cross the street in front of you. I salute the #power of the automobile.
@AphroditeAfter5: Yes Grandma, I'm almost positive Arachnophobia is not the fear of people from Iraq
@KateWhineHall: Really, there's no need to ever take your kids anywhere fun because they can just sit and complain at home for a lot less money.
@Donnie_Fairburn: [trying to stick a dollar in a vending machine] vending machine: i have a boyfriend