@friedmanjon: I wonder if Jeremy Irons ever quietly laughs to himself while he's ironing.
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@JohnsonDiaz21: In college I had 3 girlfriends at the same time. 10 years and a wife later, I have 0 girlfriends. Stay in school kids.
@BatmanOffDuty: One day I bet bullets will be replaced by flowers, and guns will probably be replaced by something that fires flowers with deadly force.
@JamieGreenlees: My GF left me because she said I lied about stupid things. I was so upset I ate a car park :(
@3sunzzz: My husband and I make a good team. I'm about to start cooking Thanksgiving dinner, and he's taking the batteries out of the smoke detectors.