@friedmanjon: I wonder if Jeremy Irons ever quietly laughs to himself while he's ironing.
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@theroneman: Son, there's only one thing in life to fear. [Car full of bears with machine guns drives by] Son, there are only two things in life to fear.
@wolfpupy: i won 100 dollars worth of chips at the casino, all i had to do was throw a brick through the vending machine glass
@PorkUrPine: God: Hmm now where did I leave that fish? It couldn't possibly have grown legs and walked away Darwin: lol ur not gonna believe this