@TheCatWhisprer: I wonder if pigs ever laugh so hard they say words.
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@AndrewChamings: genie: are you sure? me: just do it *my dog winks and gives me a fist bump for the third time*
@ilovepie84: Your Parents divorced because your Dad didn't want to put your talentless paintings on the fridge.
@JohnMayer: Yogurt does nothing. Creamy nonsense. You ever finished a yogurt cup and felt like it made a difference? Like throwing a shoe at a bear.
@Aaerios: Dropping the shampoo bottle in the shower is the most violent sound ever. "U OK in there? Sounds like a Michael Bay film in that bathroom!"