@Mikecanrant: I wonder what its like to fart in zero gravity. Does it like...propel you forward? These are things I think people need to know, NASA.
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@DarzieDAMN: That artsy picture you took of your Jack Daniels really spoke to me. It said "This persons an alcoholic but still takes decent pictures."
@NoTheOtherJohn: Me: Pull my finger. Doctor: Ok. [finger detaches] Me: AAAAHHHHH! Doctor: AAAAHHHHH!!! ME: haha j/k that's actually why I came in.
@AsgardianRose: North Korea banned the use of sarcasm towards the government; I wouldn't last an hour before they executed me.