@SamuelHLowe: I wonder what my dog named me.
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@jonnysun: i wanted som fried chicken but i didnt have any chicken so i fried an egg adn waited a few years
@robin_991: 6yo: I wish I was a bird so I could poop on peoples heads. 7yo: why do you need to be a bird? my 7yo is ready for twitter.
@UberFacts: Research suggests that when someone disagrees with you, you should speak faster so they have less time to process what you’re saying.