@SamuelHLowe: I wonder what my dog named me.
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@Brampersandon_: [Cute Girl]: *in hot tub* Hey baby. Why don't you come join me? [Lobster]: No I'm good over here. That's how my dad died.
@StansaidAirport: I live in constant fear that someone will abduct my mother in law at 35 Ash Street, London, Flat 2, door is sticky buzz Carol to let you in.
@mejustbeth: Thought I was having a good hair day. Mother Nature likes to keep my ego in check though. She's really good at that.