@jordan_stratton: I wonder what song the Little Mermaid was singing when she viciously ripped a clam in half to make a bikini top?
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@RandomlyMJ: 8 out of 10 men prefer not to date psychotic women with bad tempers, emotional baggage and daddy issues. To the other two.... Hi, I'm MJ
@Token_Geezer: Nah mate, when the Americans talk about football they mean that silly game where the fat men dress up as Transformers
@kiel_phillips: INTERVIEWER: So, do you have any questions for me? ME: What's the Wi-Fi password? I: About the job M: What is the company Wi-fi password?
@CooIStepDad: [zoo] "This is the bear kids" Wow I want his arms "What? You cant ha.." *kid shows tour guide 2nd amendment* "Bring him the arms smh"