@jordan_stratton: I wonder what song the Little Mermaid was singing when she viciously ripped a clam in half to make a bikini top?
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@AlanFelyk: Personal Trainer: Show me the hardest thing that you do each day. Me: *Goes out front door of gym, comes back in*
@Kyle_Lippert: It's absurd how none of the chicks at this park are recognizing my swag *puts flip phone back in my fanny pack. Rollerblades away*