@LauraBenanti: I wore a leather jacket into a vegan restaurant and now I'm hiding in the bathroom.
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@Stabby_smurf: If I have written a tweet similar to yours, I apologize for your lack of depth and vision.
@funnybeachgirl: "I'M NOT LIKE OTHER GIRLS!!!" (Seductively takes baby dragon out of Gucci purse & lights cigarette.)
@AimeeHelene1: (Gamblers Anonymous meeting) Leader: Bob, tell us why you're here. Me: $20 it's a Blackjack addiction. Group: *all rushing to place bets*