@LauraBenanti: I wore a leather jacket into a vegan restaurant and now I'm hiding in the bathroom.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Dani_Feld: What they say: Want a bite of my sandwich? What I hear: How much of this sandwich can you fit in your mouth?
@Reverend_Scott: DAD: Your mother and I love you very much, and I'm not sure how to tell you this, but... you're adopted. DOG: OMG THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE
@DanMentos: *passive aggressively turns off Christmas lights when someone stops too long to look at them*
@CheryeDavis: Of all the grotesque sounds coming from the bathroom stall next to me, the camera click was the most disturbing!!