@nerdreign: I worry that people who say "I'll sleep when I'm dead" may have missed a Science class or two.
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@murrman5: You've taken 3 pregnancy tests this month. "What's your point" My point is that your shoplifting is odd and out of control Eric.
@Playing_Dad: Customer Service Person: is there anything else I can help you with today? Me: Is this a date? It feels like a date now.
@heykarlin: Gotta be tough for the guy somewhere who has to say "yeah, she left me for Charles Manson."
@TheCatWhisprer: [1 of 4 car accidents caused by texting & driving] PEOPLE: won't be me [1 in 292 million chance of winning powerball] PEOPLE: you never know