@FilthyRichmond: I would bring my dog a nice jerky treat from Colorado, but he only eats local, sustainable cat turds.
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@AntozWolf: Give a man fish and you'll feed him for a day...... Give a fish a man and you're probably in the Mafia
@Breadery: When we first dated I thought your freckles were dots of inexcusable cuteness. Now I can see how joined up they draw a pentagram.
@TribalSpaceCat: Me: Do you have any wrongdog? "Ugh fine what's wrongdog" Me: thank you so much for asking I'm doing terrible
@KyleMcDowell86: *pulls fire alarm in apt building* *everyone runs outside* [Me on megaphone]IVE GATHERED U HERE B/C SOME OF U STILL HAVE CHRISTMAS LIGHTS UP