@joebirbigs: I would have got the Google Glass but I don't have $1500 or any desire to strap the internet to my face.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@librarianfonz: My job is like defeating a final boss in a video game: I spend hours doing it, and when I finally do, it doesn't matter to anyone else.
@noog: Just heard a little boy call his mom "mother," as if both had already accepted the fact that he'd become a serial killer some day.
@Jake_Vig: ALIEN: You Earthlings have many technological advances. How do you predict the weather? ME: We pull a rodent out of a box.