@Dawn_M_: I would like to be a zombie because when someone asked me if I had a boyfriend I could just eat them.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@ilovepie84: "LET MY PEEPHOLE GO!" -Moses when the cops found the peephole he installed in the Womens washroom.
@KenJennings: People you mute should stay in your TL but with a piece of tape over their avatar mouth and their tweets all like "Mmmp mm mmmph rf mph."
@fillthevacuum: Doggy day care is like a regular day care except you have to enter from the rear.