@Dawn_M_: I would like to be a zombie because when someone asked me if I had a boyfriend I could just eat them.
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@tastefactory: I have a clear conscience until a police car pulls behind me. Then I'm like "OH GOD WHAT IF I MURDERED SOMEONE DID I MURDER SOMEONE"
@HlaoRoo: Remember when you used Twitter to update friends & family on where you were, & what you were doing? Yeah, me neither.
@Classy_Cassy89: If the people in your car don't match the stick figures on your rear window, I'll report your vehicle stolen.
@fletchworld73: So after vacuuming with the new Dyson, I'm pleasantly surprised to learn that the carpet upstairs is actually hardwood.