@Dawn_M_: I would like to be a zombie because when someone asked me if I had a boyfriend I could just eat them.
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@alienated: PSA for librarians: occasionally check how the World Book encyclopedia is arranged on your shelves
@iGreenMonk: Sometimes I try to eat healthy but my stomach's like "what if you die tomorrow?" and I'm like "good point" and I have a whole pizza.
@LionJenkins: Friendly advice: Don't compare your girlfriend to an avocado. Even if she IS the good kind of fat.
@LuvPug: Just made an annoying kid shut right up by making a throat slash gesture. So I guess you could say I'm like a child whisperer.