@Dawn_M_: I would like to be a zombie because when someone asked me if I had a boyfriend I could just eat them.
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@Christi_Q: Dating is hard because guys are like "You're hot, can we do butt stuff yet?" and girls are like "It's been 3 days, where's my ring?"
@lazerdoov: I can't prove God isn't real, but at the same time, I can't prove that my dog doesn't run a violent Asian street gang while I'm asleep.
@weinerdog4life: Thank you to whoever has been keeping Keanu Reeves busy with a laser pointer for the last 10 years.
@QwertyJones3: This florist doesn't even know anything about floors, and he's acting like I'm the stupid one!