@AbbyHasIssues: I would like to think money won’t change me, but I won $5 on a scratch-off lottery ticket and immediately bought name brand aluminum foil.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@TheCiscoKidder: My wife never catches me scoping out the hot chick because she's too busy judging the hot chick.
@mdob11: I think people who use "go fly a kite" as an insult don't really understand kites or insults.
@daemonic3: "KIDS, GET YOUR SHOES ON WE'RE LEAVING FOR SCHOOL IN SIX HOURS!!!" -- Centipede parents