@AbbyHasIssues: I would like to think money won’t change me, but I won $5 on a scratch-off lottery ticket and immediately bought name brand aluminum foil.
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@ClichedOut: [camping] Friend: You gonna put that tent up yourself? Me: No, you sicko, under that tree.
@MissItAintMe: Today is awesome. I got pulled over by a cop on a bike. He even asked if I knew why he was "pulling me over" You need a ride! Duh
@hell_doe: what's my dream career? the guy who bakes chickens and hides them in the walls in castlevania. next question
@Parker_Simpson: Hey guys keep up the "Bush did 9/11" tweets I think the pressure is really grinding his gears