@pakalupapito: i would lose weight but i hate losing
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@KeetPotato: [5 mins after seeing our neighbour's new boat] wife: "everything's a competition to you" me: [trying to find the moon on eBay] "no it's not"
@_davidlucas_: The art of conversation, otherwise known as two or more people each awaiting their chance to interrupt.
@TheIronSherk: If my ex had an autobiography it would be called "Mein Cramps" What, did you NOT SEE that one coming?