@imdaintyaf: I would make a terrible Buddhist because I kill a lot of ants and drifters
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@AristotlesNZ: Cop: You know your license's expired? Me: Didnt even know it was sick. Cop: Haha! Me: HAHA! Cop: Hehe.. Me: Eheh.. Cop: Step out of the car.
@dysalexia: You guys I found this new great birth control called pregnant women posting pictures on Facebook.
@WheelTod: Mosquitoes use a numbing agent so we feel no pain from their bites. This is one easy way to tell if you were bitten by a mosquito or a shark
@jferg1616: Boss: "We are all going to have a bunch of Red Bull, bust out the chest of Adderall, be laser focused for about 4 hours, then die."