@CatherineLMK: I would make an awesome panda because I too excel at looking adorable while doing nothing.
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@stephenjmolloy: *6 hours of Russian roulette* Me: "I think I forgot to load a bullet in this gun."
@Blarebare: Start a slow-clap in a quiet, crowded room. The first person that joins you, marry them. They're your soulmate.
@DaddyJew: Oh no, my kid got upset at me and locked himself in his room. What ever will I do. Margarita anyone?