@AGreaterMonster: I would totally surf a tsunami. If I didn't get nauseous on water. And if tsunamis weren't dangerous. And I knew how to surf.
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@NYC_Blonde: Dr: We need you to come back for additional blood work... Me: Why, is something wrong?! Dr: Yes. Your blood sample was mostly champagne...
@funnyordie: Happy Columbus Day! Celebrate by going to the wrong house after work then claiming it as your own.
@KrangTNelson: AMAZON, 1998: hello we sell books but online AMAZON, 2023: please return to your Primehouse for your nightly Primemeal, valued Primecitizen