@sammyrhodes: I would walk 500 miles just to be the man who gets to eat these donuts.
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@yonewt: In the movies, anyone can hotwire a car in 10 seconds. In real life, it takes me 20 minutes to find the gas flap release on a rental.
@noog: *flips over table* *table flips back up* Table: You got a problem? Me: DO YOU? Table: ... Me: HUH? Table: ... Me: I SAID DO WE HA- Table: No
@VanVeenB: Dance like nobody's watching you. 'Cause they're not. Nobody cares. ~Inspirational tweet~
@RWaddell86: If I was in StarWars I would probably just be that guy that keeps turning his lightsaber on and off and on and off like a pen.