@sammyrhodes: I would walk 500 miles just to be the man who gets to eat these donuts.
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@TheFearBoners: When one door closes, another opens. Also, you can open the closed door. That's how doors work. How do you know so little about doors?
@VodkaThursday: To punish me, my 2yr old shuts herself in her room. She can shut, but not open, doors. She ends up trapped in a self-imposed timeout. #irony
@TimJohnish: "I see that you're wearing a black shirt, so I'm going to be extra affectionate today." -Cats
@Thynebear: "What? Only 2% Milk? Then what's the other 98%!?" [bull walking confidently out of the factory] Oh you don't wanna know